Talk about a break.

Okay, so I go away to Arizona for about a month and I don't write posts forever.
No worries though. There will be a SUPER long post soon about my adventures and possibly more posts after that. So yes.
TALK ABOUT A BREAK.
Oh.
And I found Tumblr....

Catching Up

Right, been a hell of a past few weeks. Hence the blog posts being absent. First and FAR most, I have got a boyfriend. Aaron is the best thing that has happened to me in a while. Seriously. I absolutely adore him, and that's part of the reason I'm writing this right now. I am bored as frell right now because 1, he can't talk to me and 2, there is literally NOTHING to do. I am bored out of my bloody mind, and am seriously going insane.

Second. This happened a few weeks ago. I know I left the boyfriend topic pretty quickly, but I WILL get back to it in a moment. This is why it's called catching up. -.- I was in a play the fifteenth and sixteenth of May, it was called the 'Children of Hercules'. Technically I was only in the first showing because the second one was canceled. As far as I am aware, no body actually turned up.

Third. I tried out for another play. 'Night of the Living Dead' has eight main characters and I tried out for Barbra. I think I might MAYBE get the part. I don't know. I didn't stick around to see what I was up against. Call backs are on Tuesday, and you shall get your answer then.

Fourth. I tried out for RCP, (River City Players) which is the higher ranked acting class at my school. Sadly I didn't make it and so that took my moral and selfesteem down by SEVERAL notches.

Fifth. Doctor Who has gone onto it's fifth episode and so far it is BRILLIANT. Rebel Flesh being the most recent, was a fantastic episode that I absolutely enjoyed thoroughly. Fantastic bit of writing that was.

Sixth. I hate certain people and refuse to tell them.

Seventh. I am going to Arizona very soon.

Eighth. School is nearly out. Only about three days left, we get out the second of June, and we don't have school on Monday so that is totally brilliant.

Ninth. I'm getting new glasses the third of June.

Tenth. I'm getting my braces off in July at some point.

Eleventh. I am going to be sixteen. Innit scary?

Right, back to number one. Aaron Markert is totally amazing and the best boyfriend anyone could ever ask for. He is brilliant, a whovian, addicted to Primeval, a piano AND violin player, a Sherlockian, and now my boyfriend. At first I thought I was attracted to him to distract myself from the evil gaze of the ginger one. Then later it turned into real affection and we started to date. He still has yet to kiss my lips. He kisses my head, but that's about it. Anger. Anger. Anger. Anyway. He missed his bus purposely to see me try out for 'Night of the Living Dead' even though I told him not too. Cheeky bugger.

Anyway, I know no one actually reads this, but it's a good thing for me to have considering I don't actually write in a diary. I mean I have one from ages ago that I haven't written in for MONTHS but I don't count that. Blogging for the win!

Tumblr

I love tumblr. It's fun. Even if I don't know how to use it, and I'm not cool enough to use it. I still love tumblr. thepilotofnaught.tumblr.com is for ME. Ahaha. I put my stuff up there. I love my stuff.

I went to a party this Friday, we had no school, so Becca Bohn had a party. Maybe I'll put up some videos or something when I get everything from Becca. It was a blast.

I still love tumblr. I'm still going to keep this blog though, because tumblr is a fandom, not a blog site.

You know something? I have this friend. His name is Aaron. And he is legit. I absolutely love him. I'm going to marry him someday I think. Maybe. Probably. We're like... Best friends on facebook.

Doctor Who came out again last night. Will be watching it tomorrow morning.

I don't know where these came from, but I'll be sure to figure it out. I've forgotten. I had to stop myself from writing on my face, I don't even know why. This is going on tumblr.

S.A.D.

That actually stands for, Seasonal Affective Disorder, which I have. Lately it's been raining and the rain makes me depressed. Mum says it's the absence of SUN that makes me depressed, not the RAIN, but I know it's the rain. It's like the sky is crying, the world is crying. It makes me sad.

Hectic emotional week, due to drama and ect. HATE THAT.

Sitting on my roof helps me feel better about everything.

DOCTOR WHO CAME BACK ON! The first episode was BRILLIANT. And even though I didn't get to see it the day it aired, I still got to watch it and it was still BRILLIANT. The next episode came out YESTERDAY, but I haven't seen it yet. Will be watching it tomorrow morning.

My feet are cold.

Mainly... Nothing's happened to me. I've been drifting. I had a quote I was going to put up here but I can't remember what it was.

"Sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole." ~Death Cab for Cutie, Marching Bands of Manhattan. Not the quote I was going to put, but I've been listening to this song all the time because it's how I feel sometimes, most of the time.

Have you ever liked someone so much you HATE their guts? I have. I feel that right now. I can barely look at them, without feeling that love and then hating it because I know they don't return it.

I went to a play. Kaleigh and Abby and Krysta's play. It was good. Called the Lottery. It was like thirty minutes long, and kind of confusing.

My play is in a couple of weeks. Actually, it's next weekend, on the thirteenth and fourteenth. It's kind of scary because I'm scared that it's going to suck BALLS. I want people to come see it, but I don't want to fail epically when I get up there.

My Australian friend got back on the computer. I missed her. According to facebook, we are engaged.

I was thinking about getting a tumblr as well, but the problem is I don't know how to work tumblr, and I don't know if I'm cool enough to have a tumblr.

I sometimes wish that the silence would eat me, the crack in time and space would erase me. I thought about my death the other night. I thought about if I died if anyone would notice. You ask them and they always say they'd miss you, they'd cry, they'd be upset and stuff, but you never really know. I saw (in my mind) myself jumping off my roof and into the basket ball hoop on the concrete. It wasn't pretty, but I was smiling. That's not a good thing.

I think I'm getting sick.

I started watching Farscape again, which is a fantastic show. Almost finished with the last season, and then I have to watch the movie.

I love Jude Law and Robert Downey Jr. They are fantastic.

I met the theatre teacher over at Fern Creek, his name is Mr. Rush. He's pretty cool.

I don't really have much to say anymore, but if I remember, I'll let you know.

Stephen Hawking

I have a new respect for Stephen Hawking. In the movie Hawking, Benedict Cumberbatch does a wonderful job of portraying young Hawking. It's really great. I want to buy that movie, but I don't know where to buy it or anything. That's a big sadface, but I can live with it for right now.

Lying to Myself and Others

Basically, I say I'm fantastic, you ask if I'm being truthful, and I say yes. And then you actually buy it.

I have decided that I need to move away while I still can.

I want to go to Arizona for the summer.

I just want to run, hide away, run before they're chasing me down.

Even the most encouraging words can't get to me right now. That's how down I am. I blame mainly myself.

Hating

I hate, sometimes, I hate when my friends think they can borrow my stuff all the time. Text me, "Can I borrow your boots?"  I'm too nice to say no, but it bothers me sometimes, so I always text back, "Why?" They say something like, "I've got this great outfit all planned out." And I'll say, "Fine." It's annoying sometimes. I don't like it, and I don't like that I don't like it. AAAAHHHH! Confusion!