Lying

I hate that I have to lie. I HATE it. But I do it to protect everyone. When they ask you what's wrong, you tell them you're thinking about something obscure that takes a lot of brain power, when actually, you're thinking about how wretched you feel, and how selfish it makes you for feeling that way. I have never wanted to cry while hanging out with friends so bad in my entire life. I don't want to talk about it.